A smashing success!

A smashing success!

by Jeff Miller

What you see is a beautiful burger. What you don’t see is the effort that went into making it appear on your plate at Third Window in downtown Santa Barbara.

“When you smash a hamburger, grease goes everywhere,” said Kristopher Parker, who runs the brewery/restaurant in partnership with his wife, Michellene. “It hits the brim of your hat and sticks to your eyelids.”

But there’s something special about smashing a burger, as the technique that’s become a rage attests. (“I think it’s the best one there is,” Parker said.) Some people go all technical describing it in terms of the Maillard reaction: what happens when heat hits sugars and proteins. But the result is simply this: a crunchy creation of nooks and crannies that burger fans find smashing. And Santa Barbara does love its burgers. “Cheeseburgers are to Southern California as sausage is to Germany,” Parker observed.

 “I’ve lost about 30 pounds doing this,” Parker said. “It’s incredibly hard work. But if you can find artistry in it, it’s worth it. But you have to make every patty as great as it can be.”

And that’s only the effort behind the burger. Beyond that is struggle to create the business (located at The Mill, 406 East Haley Street) in the first place. The hurdles were high, including the many months of 2015 it took for the brewery license to be approved. 

Then came some risk: the decision to take on more rent to access some 2,000 more square feet of the Mill courtyard so patrons could enjoy beer or wine outdoors. Unfortunate timing. Along came the pandemic and its constraints. Burdened with the extra rent, “We felt like closing down the brewery was inevitable,” Parker said. 

But wait. The government mandated outdoor seating, and food had to accompany adult beverages. Suddenly the risk became the reward. “We got lucky,” Parker noted.

The turnabout sent Kris and Michellene into the kitchen to figure out the food, which meant “grabbing some ground beef from the ranch,” Parker said. Not just any ranch but the Fess Parker Ranch in Los Olivos (Kris is a grandson of the famous actor). And the beef isn’t just any beef; its wagyu, raised by Kris’s sister, Katie Parker McDonald.

“It all just occurred simultaneously,” Parker said. “It was strange and terrible and wonderful.”

And now the Parkers have hired 26 staffers in addition to tasting room manager Austin Allain and lead brewer Eric Hansen, who were on board from the beginning. Along the way, “food has become a really important part,” Parker said. “Michellene manages that beast every day and does a fantastic job. It’s a lot of work and she’s unbelievable at it. The reason is she loves to make sourdough.” She hand-mixes sourdough pizza dough every day. Pizzas are baked (Mondays and Fridays) in an oven fired by oak foraged from the ranch every Monday.

There’s also Nashville-style hot chicken available Tuesdays and Wednesdays, created by chef David Medina, with sides including waffle fries and mac and cheese.

As for the ranch beef, there’s a circular system at work. The spent grain from the brewery goes to the ranch where it feeds the cows. Continuing the loop, Third Window gets mushrooms for pizza from the ranch, with plans to add tomatoes and corn to the list. “We source as much as we can from the ranch,” Parker said.

And as for brewing, “I think we’ve got the beer thing figured out,” Parker said. A glimpse at the menu speaks to that. It ranges from lagers and farmhouse beers to Trappist style, hoppy, and stouts. Here’s just one heady description: “West Coast IPA — Citra, Galaxy, and Strata added in multiple hot-side additions, then dry-hopped with steam-distilled fresh hop terpene oil from Azacca and Centennial hops.” And it hops. 

If you thirst for wine, around the shared Mill courtyard space you’ll find Potek Winery, with its super-premium offerings, plus their Municipal Winemakers line, for a “trendier, younger audience,” Parker said. Reflecting on all the interplay among the ranch, the brewery, and the shared space offerings made possible by The Mill, Parker said, “There’s really nothing like it in the entire state.”

Looking back at seven years of struggle and breakthroughs, Parker reflected, “As the old saying goes, it’s darkest just before the dawn. We were down to our last hope for the brewery. It’s funny how that last hope, food, turned out. Funny how constraints become strengths.”

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